Reflection on Juz’ 22 by Jamilah Thompkins-Bigelow

Inspired by the first ten verses of  Surah Saba (34: 1–10)

 

 

The Weight

 

The weight of an ant

The weight of an atom

The weight of whatever is smaller

It doesn’t escape the All-Knower

 

The weight of the heavens

The weight of the earth

The weight of whatever is bigger

It submits to Allah, the Greatest

 

So, I will give my grievances to Allah

I will give them all to Him

And know that the prayers of the oppressed are answered

And know that the final Judgment will come

 

I will fix what I can with my hands

I will speak against what I can with my tongue

I will hate what I can in my heart

But I will leave what I can’t change to Him

I will bow my head in prayer

And give it all to Him

 

I will give Him the weight of a microaggression

I will give Him the condescending tone that makes me feel not smart enough

I will give Him the being followed in the store that makes me feel not good enough

I will give Him the joke, the caricature, the stereotype that makes me feel not human enough

I will give him the countless everyday things whose weight has almost bowed my head—

Almost

I will give Him the weight of those things

And unburden myself with His justice

I will lift my head high and I will be made whole,

I will be made new

 

I will give Him the weight of 400 years of oppression

I will give Him the baby ripped from the arms of his mother country

And the baby redlined into missed opportunities and miseducation

I will give him the girl raped and beaten

And the strong Black woman she becomes — a mixture of mule and magic

I will give Him the innocent man hanged from a tree

And the man enslaved with chains and prison bars

I will give Him the cries of the mother at the auction block and those of her child too

And the cries of the mother as the police stop and frisk and those of her child too

I will give Him the song of the freedom seeker following the drinking gourd by night

And the song of the freedom fighter marching to overcome by day

I will give Him those things that have almost crushed my people —

Almost

With the words of my prayer, I will give Him the weight of those things

 

Oh Allah, unburden the ancestors with Your justice

Unburden their descendants too

Insha’Allah, we will be made whole.

Insha’Allah, we will be made new.

 

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Jamilah Thompkins-Bigelow is the author of the critically praised debut picture book, Mommy’s Khimar. She worked as an English teacher in high schools and middle schools for over a decade. She now works in the nonprofit world as a program director at Mighty Writers helping kids learn how to write outside of the classroom. In her writing, Thompkins-Bigelow  strives to portray children who are Black American and Muslim, two identities that she is proud to represent. She has also served as an anti-racism educator through her work as a fellow with the Muslim Anti-Racism Collaborative. She received her bachelor’s degree in English Education from Temple University and a master’s in Educational Leadership from the University of Pennsylvania. She resides with her family in Philadelphia, Pa.

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