By Amani Abderahman
*Author’s Note: In writing this poem, these verses from Juz’ 9 (7:88 – 8:40) both sincerely shook and comforted me. I intertwine them in my reflective writing both explicitly and subtly as they were some of the specific verses that caused my heart to shiver and forced me to examine my past, current and anticipated self inshallah. May Allah guide us all and may He place and continue to keep us on the straight path inshallah.
Self to Stranger Self: A Reflection on Juz’ 9
Who are you to deny the truth of The Truth?
To deny the knowledge of The All-Knowing?
Is it arrogance or ignorance that you entertain?
As your sluggish gaze falls on the eyes
of your rearview
you can’t help but feel an emptiness in them.
Your ill-kept windows,
halfway cleansed from time to time
when compelled,
how can you see through?
You turn, & continue to drive, calmly.
Indifferently.
Where do you think you are going
if not to a place where none who truly know
would dare to stray towards?
‘Why do you not use your reason?”
A mercy has been presented to you from birth
How fortunate are you among those
Who lack and may never receive.
To have it all within your grasp →
Purpose
Meaning
Truth.
Yet
You put it off.
You cave in.
You rebel.
You ultimately entrap yourself
in something or nothing
& somehow despite the constant contact
with dissatisfaction from fleeting gains
you still choose not to see what has been placed right in front of you.
You look beyond
Turning away
in the wrong direction.
‘Why do you not use your reason?”
Are you not tired
of running so far
away?
Do your legs not ache?
Is your chest not tight & constricted?
What of the condition of your heart?
Are you not on the brink of collapse?
When will you catch your breath?
‘Why do you not use your reason?”
Suddenly,
eyes filled with tears,
shallow breaths begin to take
& the strong taste of salt
seems to never leave my mouth
Soul stirs
& turns,
Body finally following.
I turn to You
The Truth
Forgive me
For You are the best of Forgivers
And the best of Guides
Guide me
So that I might come to express
The truth on my tongue
And in my actions.
Those You guide are truly guided
And those You allow to stray
Are truly the losers.
By Your Will,
I plead,
Do not allow me
to be like a stray animal
with no reason.Forgive me.
And Guide me
To be a true believer.
Ameen.
Ayaat references/Inspiration in order of the Qur’an:
7:88–89, 7:153, 7:155–158, 7:169, 7:175–176, 7:178, 7:206, 8:2–4, 8:20–22.
Amani Abderahman, a senior at Howard University, is a writer and artist-poet. She is currently working on her personal project “To Express” a platform/blog dedicated to encouraging expression/communication in order to foster self-development & raw, authentic connections. She is aspiring to delve into Islamic Studies with a concentration in Psychology at the Howard School of Divinity inshallah.
abuqiyam | May 4, 2020
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Yo, that verse tho…’Suddenly, eyes filled with tears, shallow breaths begin to take…’ Why my mouth is salty right now? I appreciated how you represented this juz! Thank you.